00067: It’s Been So Long

I moved and I said to myself that I was going to write about that but never did. Then I said I was going to write about something else and I didn’t. I was also scheduled to do a “before and after” regarding my office, never did that either. Oh, and my book project, the same.

This is typical with me. I always get this “great ideas.” I start them but never continue with them. Sometime it is due to work or my busy life or other projects that take priority, or simply because I just keep putting the writing off. The reality is that I don’t follow through and many writing projects simply never get done.

Take for instance my great idea about documenting Latinx Theatre in the United States. This is not a new idea, others have done this. But I wanted a podcast, and I started that as soon as I started my first full-time job as a university professor. Every time I traveled, every time I attended a conference or an theatre event, I would look for Latinx theatre artists, interview them, and then do a podcasts. The project was doing well, I mean, I got to interview people like Jorge Huerta, (The father of Chicano Theatre Studies), Oliver Mayer, one of the most influential Chicano playwrights in the field, Marisela Treviño-Orta, a playwright whose works are showing all over the place. I interviewed many other theatre artists. And the podcast was alive, and people were listening to it and some colleagues were event using it as class material. But once I couldn’t travel to conferences or theatre events, the interviews ended and I didn’t make an effort to find money to continue the project. See, great idea but never finished. 

This is the case with my “#carlosmanuelspeaksthetruth series. I was on fire writing about “this and that,” publishing the entries in my website, connecting them with one of my Facebook pages, and distributing all over. And then, I stopped, either because I was too busy with “this and that,” or because I just didn’t take time to write another entry… Until now, because of my heart attack and consequently my quadruple bypass open-heart surgery I feel the desire to write again. And now I’m wondering if major events in my life need to happen in order to keep me motivated in my writing projects. 

If that is the case, how tragic and melodramatic of me, needing life-changing situations as motivation. It suits my “over-the-top” personality, I guess. As one of my friends said to me, “I can’t believe you have to figure out a way to out do me. I mean, I told you I had cancer and you had to figure out a way to take the spotlight from me.” And then we both laugh and cried.

So here I am, owning it and accepting that I need to be more persistent and disciplined when it comes to my writing projects. I need to keep them going no matter the situation.

The next few entries will be all about my heart… my broken heart. I hope they’re enlightening. I’m sure other subject matters will arise and I will write about them too. For now, let the shenanigans begin once again. #carlosmanuelspeaksthetruth 

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